Choose to Love Me (A Yuri! On Ice Fan fiction)
by shackleddamsel
Summary: Right after the Grand Prix finals Yuri Plisetsky decided to face his confusing feelings for another ice skater, Yuuri Katsuki. He might be in for a heartbreak as he visits Japan and to give him support Otabek Altin, a fellow skater came with ctor Nikiforov, in preparation for his return in the active competition is back to St. Petersburg.
1. Chapter 1

From the author: It has come to my knowledge that this part of the Chapter has possibly been copied and posted on another site. This is my original work. I put a lot if heart to it so I hope my readers enjoy the adventure with me.

As I Look On (Otabek Altin)

Right after the Grand Prix finals Yuri Plisetsky decided to face his confusing

feelings for another ice skater, Yuuri Katsuki. He might be in for a heartbreak

as he visits Japan and to give him support Otabek Altin, a fellow skater came

with him.

Victor Nikiforov, in preparation for his return in the active competition, went

back to St Petersburg. But he's bothered by the lack of communication from Yuuri

who's visiting Japan before following him.

Chapter 1 As I Look On

I'm so proud of him. He's a strong person inside and outside of the rink. He's

ever beautiful right now standing in the middle of the podium with that golden

medal. Yuri Plisetsky.

I wanted to personally congratulate him so I looked for him after the ceremony.

I found him at the kiss and cry. Standing there looking at something. As I come

nearer I found Victor and Yuuri Katsuki in a tearful embrace. The look on Yuri's

face broke my heart. He's obviously shaken and didn't know what to do.

"Yuri?" I called out as I approach him.

"Otabek..." He seems lost still.

I stood in front of him to block his view, that seemed to give him a chance to

compose himself.

"I was looking for you so I can congratulate you. You are amazing." He smiled up

at me, looking thankful.

"Treat me to a meal then." He turned to walk out, not waiting for me.

I looked to see that Victor's attention is still with Katsuki. He never even

noticed Yuri.

As we walked down the street I asked him of his plans after the GP finals.

"There's a one month break before Yakov wants me back for training in St

Petersburg. I'm not sure what to do before then."

He still looked somber. There's this far away look in his eyes that I can't

explain.

He smiled as he remembered something. "There're some friends I wanna visit in

Japan. When I was there, I've met some of Yuuri's friends and family and became

close to them. I think I'll drop by."

Talking seems to cheer him up a bit. "I'm not sure what to do before I go back

to Kazakhstan. I'll probably visit my family as well and stay there for a bit."

It's been a while since I've seen them as well.

"Oh I know you can come with me. Hasetsu is a beautiful place. Come on let's go

together!"

It sounds like a great idea and with those laughing eyes staring up at me I

don't really want to disappoint him.

"OK, OK, I'll check my training schedule." I laughingly promised him.

I watched him shake the emotions that took him earlier. As we eat he started to

laugh more genuinely. I'm glad I found him when I did. He seems so young now

eating and laughing.

" I guess Victor will be back to St. Petersburg as well in a month."

I observed him, checking if the same pain will show up on his face.

"Victor seems to be a constant for you," I ventured carefully.

"Since Victor has always been someone better I can look up to, someone who's at

the top. I wanted to overcome him. I was lost for a bit when he decided to take

a break. But it gave me more purpose when I met Katsuki through him."

There's this smile that came over his face at that last bit, a smile that

confused me even more.

We were talking quietly that we didn't notice someone approaches.

"Yurio, there you are." Yuuri Katsuki, and it doesn't look like he's with

Victor.

Yurio obviously didn't expect meeting Katsuki here. He looked out of sort once

again, nervous even.

As Katsuki take the other seat next to Yuri he nodded at me as a greeting.

"You guys left immediately after the ceremony. I was looking for you."

"Where's your owner, pig?" Yuri looks irritated now.

"He's not my owner." Katsuki gently corrected.

As I watch this exchange, I realized I was wrong earlier, it's not Victor but

this guy. His flustered face told me everything. And he's probably in for more

heartbreak if he's determined to go to Japan. Katsuki is dependent right now to

Victor and it's doubtful he'll notice what Yuri feels.

I thought, "Yuri why do you even want to go there? What are you hoping to gain?"

Yuri's laughter at something Katsuki said brought me back. He seems so happy

just talking to this guy that it tears me up inside as well that he can't have

him.

That decided it. I'll be in Japan if only to watch over you as you fall apart.


	2. Chapter 2

As I Let You Go (Yuri Plisetsky)

I'm not sure what I'm expecting to happen by coming here, I just have to settle this disturbing feelings.

"So this is Hasetsu?" Otabek Altin. The first person to ask me to become friends. I might not admit it but having him here is a comfort.

"I told Katsuki no need to come pick us up we can just walk from..."

"Yurio!" Stupid pig. I already told him not to come.

"Didn't I tell you to wait at your house!?" I'm not prepared to see him yet.

"This is the natural thing to do though. Otabek I can't believe you really came with him."

Don't look so happy to see me, you're giving me false hopes. "Here! Carry my luggage since you're already here!"

"OK I'll do that. It's great having you here again."

I can feel my face getting hotter and Otabek is giving me a weird look. " Don't be stupid, pig! I didn't come here for you."

Let me just get out of here already before I make a mess out of this.

"Hey Yurio. Wait for us."

Stupid, pig! This feelings are making me angry. I get flustered by every little thing he does and says.

"His family is really great though they welcomed the two of us with a feast and this hot spring is relaxing." Otabek seems like he's really enjoying it here.

"Yeah they were the same last time too. Even though I came unannounced."

That's when I first have an actual conversation with Yuuri, not counting when I shouted at him at the GP finals. He was afraid then that Victor will leave but even though he's threatened by my presence, he treated me the same way he'll treat a friend. He looked after my needs while I was here. And was very attentive to my moods as we both struggle with the program Victor gave us. We were competitors but he never had any ill will towards me. He praised me with the things that I can do and never hesitate to offer help.

I've always wondered what he was thinking at that time. What if I won, what would he have done then. I always wanted to ask.

Was that when this feeling started?

"Let's go the rink. I'm sure Yuko would like to see you again. And they'll be glad to meet Otabek too."

"Otabek already left for a morning run though. You should do that too. You're getting fatter again, pig."

"Will you stop calling me that and I'm not gaining weight. I haven't had a Katsudon since I arrived here."

He doesn't seem to really hate being called pig. Probably because it's me. No, no don't go there.

"Let's go already." I don't want to have those thoughts.

I came all the way here to put this things to rest I guess I really need to find the chance to tell him.

"Visiting with Yuko and Nishigori was good, right? Especially Yuko, she keeps asking about you." He was looking thoughtful like he normally do when he's on the ice.

"Are you going in?" I noticed he didn't bring his skates though.

"No I'll do it tomorrow, come and join me. Bring Otabek as well."

As we stood there leaning over the edge of the rink looking on the ice, I realized there's no better place than here to settle this. On the ice, we understand each other.

"Yuuri, I love you," I turned to look at him. I'm not sure what I was expecting. I know there will be shock. I prepared myself for rejection as well.

He's just looking back at me though. After a few minutes the shock faded and he looked back at the ice. He's still not saying anything.

"I know you and Victor..." I can't say it. I don't want to acknowledge that. "You don't have to say anything. I'm not expecting it. I just want to get over this and I think I won't be able to do that until I tell you."

We just stood there. I don't know what I was expecting but definitely not this. It's hard to endure this silence.

He finally sighed and looked back at me.

"You said you're not expecting anything. But you still chose to say it and I can't ignore it, Yurio. I hope you understand that. I'm not even sure what I have with Victor."

I saw him clenched the hand that has Victor's ring on it. He looked back at the ice before continuing.

" I know this is a cruel thing to ask but don't leave yet. Give me time to sort this out. Stay. Let me figure this out, OK?"

He didn't even wait for me to respond, he turned to leave.

I spent the last couple of days with Otabek, morning run, meals and even walking around town. I can feel that Yuuri is avoiding me and I understand why. Give him time, he said. I'm going to do that.

"Yurio!" I turned to see Yuko. "I need to talk to you about Yuuri?"

I looked at Otabek who's kind enough to give us privacy.

" I'll head back first then." He looked worried though.

And I'm worried as well don't tell me that pig discussed the issue with Yuko. I'm going to kill him!

"Did anything happened with Yuuri that you know of?" She's being careful.

"What do you mean?" I'm worried now. What's going on with Yuuri.

"He's been spending the last two days at the rink. He's there all day but he never went on the ice. Not even once," she's watching my reaction on this and whatever she found there made her decide to continue.

"Victor called as well. It seems like Yuuri's been ignoring his calls and messages."

"Is he still there?" What the hell is he doing? I didn't even hear Yuko answered. I ran all the way to the rink. What the hell! This is not what I want, not at all.

I found him at the exact spot where we were talking the last time.

"Yuuri?"

He didn't even bother to turn and look at me. " I'm so confused. I tried to get on the ice but I can't. I just can't. I'm sorry that I'm so weak. I like you to continue to love me. But I feel this need for Victor at same time. He's someone solid I can hold on to."

He finally turned around to face me and I saw the tears running down his face. What he's saying is worse than any rejection.

"I'm sorry Yuri." He's really cruel. He chose now to call me by that name when he's been calling me Yurio all this time.

I need to go. I need to get out of here or I'm going to really break.

I packed my things the moment I came back. Otabek was confused with the situation but kept quiet about it. The journey to the airport was done in silence. While we're waiting for the departure Otabek finally asked me.

"Something happened there with Katsuki, right? Would you like to talk about it? You have this look and it's weird for you. What did he say?"

"He said he loves me..." I can't continue. I can't understand exactly what it is he's trying to say. What is it really!? You pig! Dammit.

"He said he loves me but he's still wearing Victor's ring." And right there in the middle of Narita I fell apart and first person to ask me to be his friend held me together.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm Here Waiting (Victor Nikiforov)

Something obviously happened in Japan but this little spoiled brat Yakov is raising still won't talk about it and Yuuri just called to make sure I won't be on the next plane to Japan. My patience's about to snap though.

"Now. Talk." I can see Yuri squirming under my cold gaze. I'm normally very affectionate with him. But this situation is getting out of hand.

Still no response from Yuri.

" You can't keep this up to long Yuri. Yuko just called to tell me Yuuri is still not practicing." I've been getting news about Yuuri from his friend Yuko and his sister Mari, because the guy himself has been ignoring my calls and messages.

Whatever happened there between these two affected them both. Yuri has been working too hard. He's even ignoring warnings of exhaustion from Yavok and Lilia.

"Neither of you can go on like this," I pointed out to him.

"I'm sorry. I messed it up." Finally he's starting to talk. His head is still down, still not wanting to meet my gaze.

"What do you mean?" This is still too vague. What the hell did you do while in Japan! I wanted to shout this to him but it won't serve any purpose other than to scare him further.

"I messed things up." He repeated.

"Dammit Yuri! What exactly did you do to him?" I finally lost it.

He looked up at that. I can see the fear and the tears in his eyes. At that he ran out of the room.

Damn it what a mess. Yuuri, what the hell is going on? Whatever it is, it will have to wait till Yuuri comes to St Petersburg. We will have to clear to this up or we won't achieve anything.

I have a heavy feeling in my chest that's been there since Yuri decided to go to Japan.

I've been worried I guess of what influence he will have to Yuuri. Having Yuuri in my life gave me a new purpose. Something I have lost somewhere along the way. But with us being apart like this with no idea what's going on I feel like I'm losing him. If Yuuri did not make me promise not to go running to Japan, I would have been there now.

That phone call was very similar to this conversation with Yuri no explanation and just lot of apologizing on his part.

There's still a week before he arrives. I'll be waiting like I promised. I'm sure that whatever it is we can fix it together.

The week passed so slowly and Yuri drifted further and further away from me, driving himself to exhaustion each day. Until the day before Yuuri is due to arrive he did not come to practice.

"Yavok, where's Yuri? I haven't seen him at all this morning."

"He requested for a break and I think he's planning on spending it with his family." The older man is obviously bothered by this situation with the kid.

The timing of this break really bothers me as well. Yuuri will be here tomorrow and then the answers I've been waiting for. Now I'm afraid to hear it.


	4. Chapter 4

I Choose to Love You (Yuuri Katsuki)

St Petersburg. I've been dreading this for a month now. It's more than just a career move, coming here would mean facing Yurio again after his confession and dealing with Victor.

Victor. He's sure to have lots of questions. I've been silent for the last few weeks I've been in Japan.

Yurio. I'm looking forward to seeing him but at the same time it scares me so much thinking of it. Victor said that he's been out for vacation but the timing makes me think he's hiding from me.

I guess it's good for now. I have to speak with Victor first anyway. We have a lot of things to clear between us before anything can move on. Oh God, what a mess.

I travelled straight to the skating rink because I know at this time of the day Victor will be there. I did not give him information of my flight. I want more time to think and the travel alone to St Petersburg will allow me enough opportunity to settle down.

Now that I'm here, I'll be as honest as possible. No more running and hiding.

I immediately spotted Victor speaking with Yakov and as if he felt me here he turned his head and saw me. I could see the surprise in his face as he registered my presence and ran straight to me.

"Yuuri!" His tight hug assured me more than anything else. We can get through this some how.

"I'm sorry Victor." I can feel my self breaking down and I can't stop the tears flowing down my eyes.

"Whatever it is we'll figure it out," he promised me.

He drove me to his house where I'll be staying while training here. Not even half an hour from the time we arrived I can't hold it in anymore and I poured out everything that happened in Japan with Yurio.

"You don't look so surprised." I pointed out because he really doesn't seem like it, it feels like he's already expecting something like this.

I watched him for few seconds, like he was pondering what to say. He sighed and looked me in the eye for the first time since I started talking.

" I figured as much when Yuri came back depressed. He was upset when he heard that you might be retiring. And after the GP he suddenly wanted to go to Japan."

He was able to put so much of this mess together even if Yurio and I refused to speak about it. I guess the silence spoke louder than any words.

I thought so hard of exactly what i wanted to do, of where I want this to go. And for Victor, Yurio and especially for myself I have to see this through.

"Victor, I honestly think we got a lot of things backward. It's time to right them. I want to be able to stand on my own. Be strong enough to support the person I love and to be worthy of love as well." That isn't so hard. Looking at Victor I know he understands. And I'm so lucky that he's the person supporting me through all of this.

He smiled at me and held my hand as he said, "I'm so proud of you Yuuri. You've grown so strong. I guess that's what love can do to you. Thank you. You've given me a purpose, a new path and I'll continue to follow it with you. If you'll let me."

I pulled him in the most honest embrace we had. Love. I guess it's all good.

I inhaled the morning air. The cold is biting even through couple of layers of clothing. I turned back to Victor who's seeing me of.

"Are you sure you're okay to travel on your own? I could've come with you." He's been at it since last night. But I already decided to do this alone.

"I don't think Yurio will appreciate that I'm bringing you with me." I can imagine it already he's probably going to throw us out. That made me smile.

Looking up at Victor he smiled back at me. He definitely understand what I mean. "Call me once you got there and come back with that brat. We're already losing too much practice time."

"I know I'll bring him back and we'll be ready for whatever." As I turned my back to Victor I felt like a chapter of my life have just ended and with every step I take I'm starting a new one.


	5. Chapter 5

Moscow. I can't believe I dropped everything to be here with Yuri.

Today, Katsuki is also expected to arrive here. I know Yuri has been dreading this day. And I wanted to be here for him even though the most I can do is stay by his side. Damn it. I should just take him away from here. If only there's something more i can do for him not to hurt this much. But this is his choice and telling him he's making a mistake will not help him at all.

"Otabek!" There he is. Yuri's smiling and waving at me to hurry up. I guess it can't be helped. I waved back and started to walk towards him.

His grandfather was also waiting with the truck to drive us.

"I know I'm interrupting with your practice. But I really appreciate that you came here for me."

We're at the backseat so it was easy for me to reach for his hand and squeeze it a bit.

"Don't be guilty for needing someone, Yuri".

He averted his gaze then and looked outside. The rest of the drive was spent with his grandfather telling me stories about Yuri as a child.

We arrived after a long drive to their house and his grandfather fussed over me some more before we settled on the seat outside to talk. It's a cold day even when the sun is shining. I let the silence stay. He'll talk when his ready.

"Victor called me last night." He started. "Yuuri's already on St Petersburg. He's staying with him. Earlier Yuuri sent me a message, he's..." I saw him close his eyes for a while and took a deep breath. " he's coming today."

That shocked me. I honestly thought Katsuki will be avoiding the issue once he's with Nikiforov. I guess he feels more for Yuri than what he lets on.

"So they're coming today. I guess it's a good thing that I arrived early then." I'll be damned if I let Yuri face those two on his own.

"Victor's not coming. Yuuri was very specific about that."

Oh Yuri. That hope in your eyes. Katsuki what the the hell are you planning doing things on such a roundabout way?

"Yuri, I would love to see you happy. But I hope you know better than to hope for much. This might not end up the way you want it to."

He lowered his head and I could see the tears started to fall.

"I know that. I've been telling myself not to read too much into it but my heart just won't let me. He's coming here to see me on his own. How can I not hope."

I let him cry and stayed silent beside him. Because at the end of the day the only thing I can do is be strong for him and hold him together when he can't. I feel so useless.


	6. Chapter 6

Come to me (Yuri Plisetsky)

After talking with Otabek I feel more at ease somehow. I've been restless since I got that call from Victor that Yuuri has arrived here in Russia. I've been going back and forth between hopeful to scared.

We started to head back home for dinner. As we're nearing the house I felt Otabek place his hand on my shoulder in silent support and I reached out to squeeze that hand in gratitude.

I was holding his hand when the front door opened and my grandfather came out.

"There you are! We've been waiting for you. Another friend of yours is here."

That's when I noticed Yuuri standing there as well. I immediately let go of Otabek's hand but from the look on his face I'm sure he saw it already.

"I'll be preparing dinner then since you're all here." With that my Grandpa turned back to the house.

There's a awkward silence as we stand there and Yuuri is trying his hardest not to look me in the eyes.

"Katsuki, we've been waiting for you." I'm so thankful that Otabek offered his hand to shake Yuuri's.

Yuuri reached for it and shook it lightly. "Yes I guess I was a bit late." He looked at me briefly as he let go of the other guy's hand.

I didn't know how I should react. I just stood there staring at him. But I felt Otabek's hand at my lower back giving me a little push.

"Why don't you keep Katsuki company and I'll go help your old man with dinner."

"Show me to the guest room I guess." Yuuri suggested lamely after Otabek left us there at the front door.

"Yes. Okay, let's do that." I led him to the other part of the house just next to the room where Otabek will be staying.

I opened the door for him and let him go in with his bags first. I followed and closed the door firmly.

"Why are you so angry?" His attitude is confusing. And it's frustrating me.

He sat at the edge of the bed with his head down. "I'm not angry. I'm just not sure what do to from here. I'm not sure what I was expecting when I got here."

Damn it. I've been waiting for him. And I'm going crazy with frustration but he's still not sure. I knelt down in front of him and grab his shirt. "Tell me already. Yuuri!"

I buried my face in his chest and started to cry. "I understand about Victor. I do he's important I don't want to compete with that. I can't..."

I felt his arms hugging me close and his face on my neck. I can feel his breath as he spoke. "I hate what I'm doing to you. I'm making you so unhappy. I'm distracting you from doing something important in your life."

I just stayed like that for a while basking in the feel of his strong arms holding me so close. When I calmed down a bit he let me go and held my face with both hands.

Looking deep in my eyes he said the sweetest thing I've heard.

"You on the ice is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. Better than anything I've experienced was watching you out there."

For me though the best thing was when his lips first touched mine.


End file.
